Computer Jokes

This is from . Just for a quick daily laughs. Pay them a visit for more. I post the most cheerish of all for me here.

Computer Stupidities

Operating Systems

Most computer users understand that you need an operating system to use a computer practically, even if it is not clear why. But many users don't.

No. 1
  • My Friend: "What's your operating system?"
  • Me: "Linux."
  • My Friend: "You better uninstall it!"
  • Me: "Why?"
  • My Friend: "The government uses Linux to look through your computer and see your every move. They use it as a security camera into your world."
  • Me: "Sure...."
No. 2
  • Tech Support: "May I ask what operating system you are running today?"
  • Customer: "A computer."
  • Tech Support: "What operating system are you running? Windows 95?"
  • Customer: (a little too excited) "95, 97, 98, I've got them all!"

After conferring with her husband, it turned out she owned a Macintosh with System 8.1.

  • Friend: "I heard about this thing called 'Linux'."
  • Me: "Oh, I use Linux."
  • Friend: "What is it?"
  • Me: "An operating system."
  • Friend: "Like Firefox?"

I was calling to sign up with a new DSL provider. When the guy asked what operating system I was using, I said, "Linux." I was put on hold for five minutes, and then a supervisor came back and told me, "You can't use Linux to connect to the Internet. It's a hacker tool, anyway." I almost fell out of my chair.

Note to self : This also happened to me not long ago, I called my Stimix technical about my miscapped bandwidth. Firstly, she didn't even know what is bandwidth capping. Secondly, after been put on hold for 5 minutes, she said it because I'm using Linux, and Stimix doesn't support Linux!!! Wahahhahaha....You should try it sometimes for good laughs.


Overheard in a software shop:

  • Woman #1: "What this Linux thing?"
  • Woman #2: "It's a program that if you have it on your computer, you can't turn the computer off."
  • Woman #1: "Oh."
Now Linux is a virus? Hahahaah..

A customer walked into the computer store I work in, wanting to return a computer.

  • Me: "Sure, is it defective?"
  • Customer: "No, that's not the problem. When I took it home and turned it on, I realized it was only half programmed."
  • Me: [scratching head] "What do you mean by half programmed?"
  • Customer: "Well, look at the computer on display." [points to the Windows 95 desktop] "Do you see how all the programs are on the left side of the computer?"
  • Me: [biting tongue] "Well, you are right sir, I will take your computer back."

I decided the moron had to solve his life before he could buy a computer.